It has been a while…
The trip to the Isle of Man was obviously cancelled. The trip to France obviously cancelled. The work on the CB500 has come to a halt. Too busy and no motivation.
Work is like a long drawn out disaster movie most days. Glimmers of a plot twist and a happy ending are fleeting at best. A very unhealthy environment to be in.
My mind has been really struggling to find anything positive in anything. There have been some very very dark days.
It is so very hard to explain. So many good things, so much to be grateful for. It could be so much worse. The black dog does not care. He will steal those happy moments from you, rich or poor, healthy or sick.
The stresses of a global pandemic, working for company that is being drip fed money, difficult home life and a being on the receiving end of a corrupt government, just got too much. So is it even depression or a culmination of circumstances?
Having people to talk to and a much needed hug is a massive thing that some do not have. I you are offered a hand of support take it. Do not be too proud or embarrassed. Those that offer the hand often understand more than you think.
Earlier this week I learned of the death of someone who I didn’t know well but knew enough to know she had a heart of gold. She truly did. Her legacy, besides some very famous songs with her vocals on them was an outpouring of sheer love from her friends and fans. What a fabulous impression she made on so many people.
This is what life is about? The bonds you make with people, how you make others feel through acts of kindness and support.
You cannot possibly be the best version of yourself for others unless your inner core is happy and content. This often relies on others to an extent (reciprocating of support to fellow humans), however typically the buck stops with you. Self care is not selfish, it is imperative.
If riding a bike, being creative, having some chill out time, exercise etc. are vital ingredients to a more content you, then unselfishly they have to be a priority. It is difficult to justify such things when we are so busy with work etc. yet that is the time when it is most important.
So, forget all the social media ‘living your best life’ facade. Life is tough sometimes. When it is, look after yourself and do not feel like you have suppress unhappy feelings. If people are upset by you feeling the strain then that is a clear signal that they are not who you need at that time.
If you need to prioritise yourself and say No to others do not feel guilty. Get out and give your mind the hugs that it needs in whatever way works.