I have had a few conversations with various people about this recently. The old me would always be ready to fight and argue until the issue under discussion was exhausted and the other person probably as frustrated as I was.
Through lack of emotional energy, self preservation and the realisation that I need to make my happiness a priority, I am slowly changing my approach (in some instances, it is far from a constant).
Recently something came to light that annoyed me, yet I didn’t engage and appeared quite calm. Most people that I spoke to said that they would be fuming and actually were on my behalf.
The outcome to everything should not be to feel frustrated, angry, upset etc. Yet our initial reaction typically achieves just that.
Reacting angrily to said situation would have been inflammatory all around and made the situation worse. I am slowly learning to not fight every provocation and that in doing so, is not weak but actually the opposite.
That said I did lose my patience on a work call recently and swore at someone for being rude. I was correct to do so in this instance. The result was an apology.
The next layer of this is I guess understanding that others may react in anger or whatever negative emotion yet you can make allowances for them and show understanding and empathy. They are not wrong, they just do things differently and may be in a totally different headspace.
It seems that some of the inspirational quotes that appear on your social media timeline are not bullshit. Inner peace is something truly worth focusing on, IF you need to.
Anyway enough of my virtue signaling zen nonsense for now …
Yesterday was a big day for me. I introduced someone who is very important to me to some of my close family, who are also very important to me too.
My nerves and anxiety prior were natural yet not justified. It was a beautiful occasion and I am so grateful to all for being themselves and making it such a lovely thing. It was all fine and very reassuring, although reassurance was not required.
My daughters response afterwards bought a tear to my eye. Her genuine happiness in seeing me happy is something that I will cherish forever.
It is like lifes jigsaw puzzle is becoming clearer.
I have some big stresses in my life at the moment, yet the people that I choose to talk to instill so much calm in me. A few words in a text message or call can sometimes be enough to create a smile or remind you what is truly important.
The beautiful thing is that said people are mostly oblivious to what they do for me. I hope that I do the same for them sometimes.
Lone Rider 